sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
