New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
