You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
