im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
