i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
