She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
