i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
True strength comes from lack of pants
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