Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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