What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
