Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
