he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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