Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She's just so happy...and so naked.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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