She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
