i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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