my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I think my moral compass just broke
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
