Got a toothbrush?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Is it penis luge time yet?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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