How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
