i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
