hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
