I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize