Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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