yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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