well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
