I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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