Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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