CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
