Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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