butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he thought i was a dude.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
