I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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