under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
did i walk over a car last night?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
