She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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