i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize