Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
