At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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