I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
