your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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