Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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