official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
