Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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