This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
