I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm jealous of your bromance
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
