Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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