I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I will be naked everywhere
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
