my vag is so smooth its legendary
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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