So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
