yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
