I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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