hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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