I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
handjob tips. give me some.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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