i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
