You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
