And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
