A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
