i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
