I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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