so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
