Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
