You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
