The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
