At least make sure they are 18
Why
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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