i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
