hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
