i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
