please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
