: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize