Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
