Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize