you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Screwed.edu
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
