Say something about gay babies.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
